celticavatar

08:44 am:

You Have Good Karma

In general, you like to do the right thing when it comes to others. Your caring personality really shines through. Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out. But, all in all, you're karma is good... even with those few dark spots.

08:41 am:

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrifice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

01:53 pm: Ok, this is simple.
I just want to know what people think of me. Leave a comment and let me know. Thank you

02:39 pm: A lil frustrated today
I have a lot going on lately. I think I have been trying to hard to make everyone happy. I think I have been trying to hard to make friends to and probably scared them away lately.

I guess sometimes I am too much of a perfectionist. I tried to connect with someone the other day by remembering some words in Ukrainian. (I had a friend when I was younger and learned some of the language. I also had taken Russian when I was in 7th and 8th grade and got them mixed up). It really bothered me because I was trying to be a friend show some interest in my friend and he went off and accused me of racism when I tried to take to him about it later. That was not my intent and it is not cool nor understanding for him to make that assumption about me.

I invited people over last week to visit. I did not hear from them and I am supposed to go play games with them tonight at Blue Dragon. I am not sure how to react now because I felt like I was bugging them. I think I should appologize for some reason. it feels weird that I invited them over and now I feel I need to make up for some wrong. I have no idea though if I did something wrong. To me it is screwed up thinking but not sure if I am just trying to hard.

I am worried about my parents and Jennifer too. They all have alot going on in their live and I feel helpless to help them right now. I am doing what I can to take care of me and trying to be happy.

My own stress is my knee and lower back pain. People look at me differently since I put on this weight. I have working out as much as I can within my restrictions as long I am not hurting too much. I guess depression and anxiety is getting to me lately. I know that grass is not always greener on the other side. I try to help people as much as I can but I need to draw back right now. I need to get out more though too and socialize.

I am just not sure how to balance all of it lately. I have people who have talked to me in a long time and I still have no idea why. I wish I knew if I have done something wrong or just that we have grown apart some how.

I hope the people who are truly are my friends or want to be my friends can help me understand what is going on lately. I want to be able to adjust or understand what I do is right or wrong in normal feelings and behavior.

Tags: need more imput

02:30 pm: True, I have to admit it

134 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Superior Take the test!

12:40 pm: feeling so so
I am taking a break right now. Stomach is kicking my butt last 3 days. I think I ate something and it really upset it. I has sushi last night and guess it did not agree with me either. Trying to keep everyone happy has been wearing me down for awhile now. I think I am on overload between the bull crap with my court case and worrying about everything else lately.

I wish I knew what I am supposed to do with my life. I am taking things one day at a time lately and trying to find joy in what I do. It is not easy with some negative people I have to deal with each day. I vent here because I can get it out and it really does not hurt anyone in the process.

I have been in alot of pain with my knee injury and it is going up my leg and is making my lower back hurt. This has been going on since I was hurt but has been getting worse each year. I have told each doctor I have seen and most just over look it or say it is just aggravated muscles. The company doctors tell you look fine and I do not see much wrong with you. I have had people follow me and take videos. I wish they could feel my pain and try to live a life where they can not sleep because of muscle spasms and sheer agony like I do.

I try not to show the pain or fatigue I feel. It does affect my ability to think and function but not many people care about that part. If I take meds for pain it makes me slower and I end up being slow. I function the best I can but that is no life. Most of the time the meds might take the edge of my pain but alot of the time it does nothing for me.

I am doing the best I can with my life and hoping it will improve with time. I have a few friends. Some are mad at me I guess. I wish I knew what for though. Some have not bothered to call me in many months and it bothers me.

I guess if they want to talk to me they would call. I have called and got no response back.

I am going to continue do my best and hope for the best. I try to find the positive in everyone and everything in life.

12:46 pm: I feel SUPER today

12:13 pm: Just curious here
I have seen many things happening in the world recently. Many of them not in our neck of the woods as of right now. Meaning here in Michigan. We are having some pretty strange weather here lately. We do have some weird weather patterns lately here though.

I am concerned because I have a strange feeling that the world is changing and dramatically in the near future. I am concerned because I see many people not even care what happens in the world unless it directly affects them.

I sense things are going to happen sometimes and lately I been sensing more stuff is going happening before it does. It concerns me because I am not sure what to put faith in right now. I grew up in Christian family and went to private school most of my life. I went to a Christian college and learned it is not accepted by the church that people can sense things going to happen and see glimpses of the future per say. I have also read many different text saying the opposite in regards to the ability to see things.

In the Bible itself it says it is a God given ability by the Holy Spirit and each person is gifted with different abilities. Some of the abilities are even named off as examples. I am wondering if God is disgusted with what he sees in us as a race. I am wondering if it is true about the Mayan calender, and I wonder if people are really so shallow and don't give a crap about other people around the world.

I guess it is the mix between all the different religions in the world, The different seers, Science and exploration, and what I see happening. It makes it hard for me get a grasp what is happening in the world.

I get depressed when I see people who need help and I do what I can and even bend over backwards to them. In the end, I was taken advantage of many times and I am tired of it. It really bothers me when I need help and no one bothers to help me. Except a few close friends. They know who they are and they know how much I do appreciate their help and I would do the same.

It does bother the crap out of me that certain people used to call me a good friend and now do not even bother to see how I am doing. I had someone who I used to consider a close friend basically disown me in recent past it hurt me. My other friends do not call anymore or if they do they want something from me. I still have a few friends who accept and care about me for who I am, not what I can do for them.

I wonder what the world is coming to and what it is becoming. I graduated last Saturday and come home and wait wake up to my dad calling on Sunday. He tells me the cops arrested a person on their porch at 2 am because they were peeking in the windows of my parents house. My parents are older and I do not know what to do to protect them. They are only family I have ever known growing up. I am not financially able to help them move out of the neighborhood I grew up in. It is becoming a bad place to live.

I am worried and somewhat scared what the future holds for all of us. There are days it feels like a war zone to me. In some senses and areas it is that way.

I am wondering how other people feel about the things I mentioned above.

12:12 pm: whahaha
form action="http://chaz.bdmonkeys.net/battle.php" method="get">

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Prowling through the wasteland, clutching a meaty axe, cometh Celtic Avatar! And he gives a mighty cry: "For the love of beatings, I am on a crash course with bloody destiny!!!"

Find out! Enter username: <input ... > Are you <input ... >a girl, or <input ... >a guy ? <input ... >

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

</form>

05:32 pm: Honest, only a little Nutty

You Are a Hazelnut

You are very unique and distinct. You may even freak some people out. Most people don't really know how to interact with you. You get along best with anyone who is super sweet. But you really do get along with almost anyone. You just need a chance to wow them.

09:59 am: Yep that's me

All American Kid

Popular but not plastic. Athletic but not a jock. Smart but not a brain. You were well rounded and well liked in high school.

09:59 am: cool

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system. And while this may not seem big, it can be. It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes. You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

09:19 pm: I get the point

You Are a Colon

You are very orderly and fact driven. You aren't concerned much with theories or dreams... only what's true or untrue. You are brilliant and incredibly learned. Anything you know is well researched. You like to make lists and sort through things step by step. You aren't subject to whim or emotions. Your friends see you as a constant source of knowledge and advice. (But they are a little sick of you being right all of the time!) You excel in: Leadership positions You get along best with: The Semi-Colon

01:11 pm: Hmmm, interesting, Does this sound like me?

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are compassionate, caring, and soothing. You like other people to depend on you... In fact, you don't feel right unless you are helping someone out. Underneath it all, you feel the burden of everyone's problems. Without your guidance, you fear that many people's worlds would fall apart. You like to feel in charge, even if it brings you a lot of stress.

09:22 pm: I hope my feet do not stink

You Are Sneakers

You are creative, funky, and forward thinking. You are cool, but you are still approachable. You are stylish and edgy, but you aren't a slave to fashion. You tend to put your own spin on trends. You tend to have a fast paced, busy lifestyle. Not a lot of people can keep up with you! You should live: Near nature You should work: In a job that keeps you on the go

07:53 pm: My birthday gathering / House warming
I am going to be having a house warming / Birthday party for myself after 5 pm. It will be pot luck. If you need my address call me. (248) 320-7373

I am going to have people over on the 2/16/09 for who can not make it on the 2/9/09 because of meetings.

07:29 pm: It is strange
I have this over whelming sense of emptiness right now. I am not sure what brought it on either.

I feel like something is missing in my life. I am not sure what though. It feels like loneliness but also something more right now. I know I really miss my friends right and have a nagging what if thing going on in the back of my mind. I wish I could have a chance to find out, but doubt they would ever consider giving it another chance.

I do not want to give up on people. I try to find the best in people and I am honest with my thoughts when asked. I truly care about people but I guess that is not good enough for some. I know I am not perfect or in ideal condition. I deserve to be loved too and I need to hear it sometimes too.

I do not want to be alone. I want to have someone special in my life too. I am lost when courting someone. I either try too hard or not enough. I need help finding the happy median in life and I feel lost right now.

12:25 pm: This past weekend
I went to confusion and seen many of my friends that I usually do not get to spend alot of time with otherwise. I made some new friends and found some people a little challenging.

I wish I had more time to spend with some friends and hope to keep in touch with them. Over all the convention was great.

I hope everyone had a good time and hope to see more of you in the future.

Hugs,

08:42 pm: I am thinking about a party or gathering of some sort
I was wondering if I was to have a party who would be interested in coming. I am considering Saturday Feb. 2 or Feb. 9th for a birthday party / House warming / Graduation party.

My birthday is on the Feb. 5th and it falls on a Tuesday so not a good day for a party. So I need help deciding which day is better. Any suggestions?

12:09 am: Vampire who? me